Thursday, April 27, 2006

A confused wife...

An old friend of mine was having difficulty with her married life. They are married for I think about less than 5 years now. These is the period where they are now experiencing fights. Some are small fights some are huge fights. To what extent is the huge fight that I don't know. As far as her stories are concerned last December was the worst one. It was a huge fight according to her. There are exchange of words that hurt both of them. And that is the point they brought about "separation". It is not an easy topic to discuss. To cut the long story short, they made it after the fight still holding on together. Days pass, and maybe just maybe, their are still fights in between. Then one day, I received a text message. She said she was hurt and sad. They had a fight again...then the separation thing came again. And she thought that she is loosing the battle. Of course I told her to fight for the marriage. I strongly believe that fights among married couple are normal. Two different people together in one house living together as one. For sure there would be a lot of misunderstanding along the way. The relationship was never easy. Both need to do their best to save the love they have for one another. I knew that love binds them and I don't believe that a few fight should ruin everything. But then again, I told her only SHE can decide. Only SHE can know what she really feels. And only SHE can do what she think and feel is the best for them or for her for that matter.

Once I heard about "7 years itch". Its about 7 years of complete adjustment. 7 years for both the husband and the wife to really get to know each other. And 7 years of many fights, misunderstandings, petty quarrel etc...But after the 7 years, then it will be alright. Alright only IF, you are able to cope up with the undertakings of your marriage. And only IF both of you fight for your marriage and your love. And only then you can surpass the test. The text of the 7 years itch. 7 years itch is not all true to all couples. Some couple can adjust easily, it took them only 3 years to get to know each other. Some lasted for 5 years. But surely, every couple experience bad days sometime in their married life. Whatever you call it...it's all a test. To test your patience with your partner. To test your love for one another. And only true love manage to succeed.

One thing I want to remind her. "No one is better than the one you have." So never run to someone for comfort. Only you and your partner can solve your problem. Anyway...going back to my friend, I also told her that I am hoping for her peace of mind. That she and her husband would patch things up. It is never too late to kiss and make up. It is always the right time to reconcile. It is always the right time to renew the love again. And whatever her decision maybe, it will never be wrong. I am always here for her as a friend. I know that she is really confused right now. With all the fight and the pain that she is undergoing through right now...it is normal to feel lost and confused. Confused...that what I think of her now. She is hurt and lonely. Nobody wants her life to experience this kind of problem. Nobody like problems that got to do with marriage. It hurt us the most if the problem involves someone we truly love. Before her kids...its her husband first. And vice versa. Confusion sometimes lead to hate then betrayal and so on...I hope the confusion will not create a damage as big as to lead them to separation. But as a person who believes in true love, I still have my fingers-crossed that everything would turn out just fine. Not today maybe, but the days to come. It will all come to pass one day.

I was never an expert to any kind of problem. But base on my experiences and base on my way of thinking I know that at one point I know I am right.

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